Hi There and welcome to 1 One Tough Mama! I am so grateful to be given the opportunity to share with you the things that I have learned as a Single Mama of 3, children ages 18, 13, and 5, and a Mama to a 2-time leukemia survivor.
#1 thing that I have learned as a Single Mama is to Have Faith in God.
I call him God but you may refer to him or it as the Universe or whatever else you may believe in. No matter what you call it I believe in order to get through this life and especially in order to get through difficult times it is best if you believe in a power outside of yourself.
Let me show you an example of how I have Faith in God. Just last night I was stressing out over my bank account. I knew a bill was going to come out and take all but $22.15 of my money. This was devastating because I still have 1 more week until payday and we need groceries and gas for the week. Not to mention all of the other things that I may need to buy. So instead of stressing out even more during my evening prayers with my little guy, I said God you know our needs please provide for us and help us out in this situation and we went to bed.
This morning I saw that the money for the bill was taken out and I sighed then I opened up my bank account to make sure my account wasn't negative. Then I realized something was off. How did I have more money in my account than I had expected? So I looked further into my account and found that I had received a payment for something that I was expecting but not sure when it was going to arrive. When I realized I had the money in my account and I have all of the things I need to survive I thanked God for providing for us. This is how I live.
I don't normally live paycheck to paycheck because I do follow somewhat of a budget, but this month has been something else. My air conditioner went out again, my kids and I needed passports for a trip we are going on for my parent's 50th Anniversary in October, and I had to get a new pest control person because I found a black widow in my bed. Uggh! Scary I know. These are just a few things that put me over my budget but I never stopped believing that God would provide and get me through this month.
I encourage you today and every day to put all of your worries in God's hands. As difficult as it may be you will feel a weight lifted off of your shoulders the moment you give your stress away.
#2 I had to learn that Everyone's Journey is different.
This may seem so obvious to you and you're right. It's common knowledge, right? Everyone is different? This wasn't easy keeping this in mind during a very difficult time. When my son was 2 he was diagnosed with Leukemia. You'd think you can turn to someone to guide you but like I said, turns out all journeys are different and there is no road map to getting through it. BUT, there is a large community out there that can help you develop your own road map and that is so powerful.
This news for myself and my family was devastating, to say the least. Right after we agreed to move forward with the road map that the doctor had given us the nurse came in to give my son his first doses of medications. I asked the nurse if she has seen good results from the treatment that we were about to give our son. She responded by saying, "Everyone's Journey is different". I thought well that's not a very positive response to my question. I was looking for something like, Yes all the kids I have seen respond really well to this medication but that's not what I got.
Thinking back on that moment I realize now that the nurse was very wise in telling me that everyone's journey is different. She couldn't give me false hope. Now I appreciate what she said and tell everyone else that same thing.
We all are different and have very different journeys to go on. What works for one person may not work for another and that is life. My advice to you is to never compare yourself or your journey to someone else. We are all made very differently for a reason. Think about it, if everyone were the same life would be very boring.
Whatever journey you find yourself on right now I hope that you will find peace and joy along the way.
#3 I have learned to reach out when you need help.
I'm sure you've heard this phrase before. "It takes a village to raise a child". As a single Mama, I learned that very quickly, I was only 19 when I was pregnant with my first daughter so I had to rely on my parents for support until I was able to make enough money to support her and me on my own.
It is inevitable that we will all go through some kind of difficult or even tragic event in our lives and that is why I believe so strongly in reaching out when you need help. You may not have or be able to ask your parents or family for help but I encourage you to find resources that can help you. No one should have to go through this life alone. Especially during difficult times.
If you need more help finding resources please message me and I will do what I can to help you. You are not alone :-) I'm hoping to keep this community of mamas, grandmas, and guardians just as strong as your fighting loved one. While we can't build your road map, together we can certainly help you find the building blocks.
I am so glad that I got to share these things with you today and I hope that you will join me in my next post. I also invite others going through similar times to create an account, share their story and post what has worked for you. You may just be helping a woman who is in need of building her child's road map to getting healthy again.